my mental mess of a life

The Crazy Concept I Call my Life    I open the door to an everyday Starbucks and then it hits me, literally. As I walk in I smell the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Standing at a corner I wait to order my drink and employees rush past as if I am invisible. This is a well-known feeling. An employee suddenly walks up and I order my basic white girl drink, a strawberries and creme frappuccino, hold the cino. I then sit down--I don’t stand for my drink like any normal person would, but truth is, I am not any normal person. I am my anxiety, my depression--or at least that’s how it feels at times. I awkwardly sludge over to get my drink and hurriedly sit back down.    As I go to sit down at my seat, a man across the room from me smiles at me--which is such a simple thing, but it makes me feel like I’m not alone for once in my life. Suddenly another man rushes in--giddy...

For all of you out here reading this or struggling but I'm here to tell you it gets better, I promise. I used to think I would never get better, never go anywhere but look at me now graduating in three months which is something I thought I would never do. It's all about taking those little steps making them bigger and then all of a sudden you are striding through life. It's not always going to be easy and there is always gonna be days where you don't even want to get out of bad but you will get there I promise. I know at times you can feel weak but you are stronger than you can even imagine. You've been through so much and you're still here living, breathing, keep going. You're not alone, you're loved and you're so much more than you think. Don't let others put you down, it doesn't matter what they think of you let them be jealous from the sidelines. I admit this is easier said than done and it takes time but you will get through it. Self lov...

I know I said helpful tips but this blog is all about helping others and showing them that they're not alone so I decided to show you guys some self love tips that I incorporate into my daily routine. These tips have really boosted my self esteem and etc and I hope it does the same for you. Here you go: 1. Positive self talk in front of a mirror (I know sounds silly but this tip has really boosted my confidence). 2. Write a letter of what you love about you/encouragement to yourself and read it during hard times. 3. Set reminders so you remember what you need to do everyday for your mental health. 4. Do something fun by yourself, like go to the movies this really helps because you get to know yourself better as a person. 5. Practice saying no and don't let others have the ability to walk all over you. 6. Take a social media break! (let me tell you this is the best ever you are not on your phone all the time and it gives you a sense of peace). 7. Try new things you...

The voices within my head they make me happy, they make me cry, they make me anxious and most of all they make me weak. It feels as if it's a battle within my head that I cannot escape. Shots fire from each side anxiety and depression vs me. No matter how hard I try they never leave they're like a barnacle on a boat. I hate them, I hate these voices inside my head. My mind is so two-faced but it's clear who has won. And the winner is... depression!!! congratulations you get the award for most triumphant in degrading me. I wish you would go away but it looks like you've made a home. Robbed of my home you saw me as a weak prey. You've overstayed your welcome, there's the door please leave. You're like the monster under my bed but you're not just there at night you're here all the time. You put myths in my head tricking me to believe they're fairy tales. You're like the Hyde to my Hyde there is no Jekyll! There is no yin and yang you're just...

Once again, I notice the little ways my anxiety slips in making me more and more vulnerable everyday. "They're laughing at you, they hate you, they're just waiting for you to mess up" the voice says. It's the spotlight effect the belief that you are being noticed more than you really are. It's the others telling me to "chillax", "take a chill pill", "pop a xanny". Little do you realize that your words deteriorate me, and the damned ill-fated people who suffer the indistinguishable curse called mental illness. You may say curse? that's a bit dramatic but once you have it, it feels as if controls you, overtakes you as the voice in your head screams "this is all your fault". But it's not, it's not your fault it's society's messed up view on the world making you feel like nothing you ever do is right. They say mental illness isn't real but if it isn't real why are millions taking their lives, havi...

Hey guys, it's Anna a introverted ordinary girl just trying to get out of her shell. For years I've put off sharing my personal life with everybody because I was afraid of the stares, the odd looks and how people would treat me. For three years now I've been dealing with mental illnesses such as anxiety and depression and it hasn't made life easy but then again when is life ever easy? We all face trials and we all go through hard times but that doesn't mean that you can't still find happiness even through the darkest of days. I created this blog to share my own personal experiences throughout life but also to help others suffering the same illnesses to me. I found out the hard way that life isn't always gonna be easy and there have been times that I wish I could do it over again, but looking back I'm proud of how much stronger I have become today. Mental illness is not an easy thing to deal with and it definitely takes a toll on your life. It all began m...